So a week ago i got my new wheelchair and i know i said i'd post pictures but they are awful quality.
I had some that were better quality but im crying in the pictures.
Due to my mum being away and the fact my chair wasn't properly adjusted, i didn't actually get in to my new chair until Tuesday.
It took a little while to get the arms to the right height, get the foot plates sorted and other little things. Then my mum stood back and asked me what i thought.
I tried to say 'its good, it will take some getting used to" but instead i just started to cry. It was such an overwhelming rush of emotion.
It's not that i hated it, our was upset, it was that being in a electric wheelchair just makes me realise that i am actually disabled.
I mean of course i know im disabled, but being in a normal chair (i get told off buy the wc community for saying that, but thats just my opinion) i don't feel like i stand out as that disabled girl, it's really odd thought i know and i get that i sound like i'm in denial, i'm not, i swear. It's because of what i think other people are thinking and seeing.
But i know i have to get used to being in an electric chair before i get to uni next year.
It only took me about 10 min to feel normal in my chair, once i had stopped crying, but i was indoors, lets see how i feel on an outing. But you can't really see much of the chair once im in it, so after an outing i'll hopefully realise i am just being silly, and no ones staring or judging.