Wednesday, 23 March 2011

Identity

We managed to diagnose me yesterday. I have mentioned before that since leaving hospital i keep having funny turns. Everyone suspected an underlying infection. But after spending the weekend in bed, due to having no car, and feeling fine, i thought my funny turns were over. Then i got up Tuesday for college. By the time i got home i was red, boiling to the touch, sweaty & cold. Turns out having my foot on my foot plate is making me AD. The pressure's hurting me, and because i can't feel it my blood pressure goes up and i go funny. Not fun! But at least we know why now.


I had a rubbish night last night!  I was soooo hot, it was really annoying because i was very tired. But i did get the chance to catch up with sky+.


I watched Katie: my beautiful friends. It was really good! I had a massive confidence low after my accident, and still do at times. I went from being a "normal" teenager, yes i was tall, overweight and i had big boobs, but i knew how to work it. Then all of a sudden i had this great big new accessory, and i couldn't hold my own body properly, i didn't know how clothes fit me. I think what bothered me the most though was that i was going to be given the label disabled. At my school anyone that was disabled were all sat at one table at lunch & break, they were sat at the edge of the class away from everyone. It felt like we couldn't talk to them because they were different. Also i know it sounds bad but when i thought of a disabled person, i thought of someone that wasn't all there, and i know that a lot of other people do to. I was so scared that people would see me like that. I completely felt like i had lost my identity. I wasn't as interested in going out and getting drunk anymore. I found it very difficult to get back into education, I didn't see the future i had had planned ever happening.


Im deff getting my identity back, not just my old one, but a brand new one, that im proud of!


I know believe in going with the flow, my whole life doesn't need to be planed.
I have discovered a passion for film.
Yes i have difficulty doing almost anything but im still going to do it. So my determinations grown immensely!
Im very much still a VERY opinionated person, that stands by them! I challenge anyone to a debate.
I am strong & confident in myself & my beliefs.
My accident made me so appreciative of all my family and friends.
I can be bossy, but this makes me a good leader.
I am pretty impatient though, which i am trying to work on, but we all have our faults...

Monday, 21 March 2011

Freedom!!

I have my freedom back... YAY!! :D


The car is fixed!! I don't know how or why it went from being 7-10 days, to getting it back today. To be honest i don't care! Im just glad to have it back. Although i was looking forward to a week of lie-ins.


I have been so bored today that i spent most the day on paint drawing trees, fish, flowers, all sorts! Then i drew my new picture, the chair to your right.


I also wrote a review for a cinema on http://accessibleplaces.net/ its a great site, and once its really built up it will be so incredibly helpful!


So apart from that i have done nothing at all! Im going to make up for it tomorrow, after college im going shopping to buy the ingredients to make granola. My mother keeps telling me you can by granola, but i want to make my own, its much more satisfying. Then i shall be having it for brekkie with yogurt and fruit, since my brother ate my beloved lucky charms.


I may possibly clean out my wardrobe, but i do say that at least one a week..

Friday, 18 March 2011

Thank you Everyone!!

Today didn't start tooo great.


My mum phoned the garage and it turns out it may be the fob. Seems easy right? WRONG! These fobs take 7-10 days to come from France. Wouldn't be a problem for any other car, they would get a courtesy car. Me, nah, not that easy! Mobility don't do courtesy cars. This means im housebound for up to 10 DAYS!


I may go crazy!


WARNING: Expect crazy ramblings, Starting with this...


Bring it on, Amazing film! Its original, clever, funny, a perfect Friday night film to watch with the girls! But they NEED to stop with the sequels. I was watching like the 15th one last night. Bring it on: Were the underdogs we will win, the school bitch will be our friend, the new girl will get with the popular guy, and everything will be CHEER-tastic! You know the one, It stars 30yr old Cristina Millian playing a 17yr old. It was unbelievably bad! The acting was incredibly bad! The "popular girls" also known as the jaguars make Reece from hollyoaks look like a Oscar winning actor. On a high note, great drinking game. Every time you hear cheer, have a shot. You will be on the floor in 30 mins, having consumed a year's worth of units. I didn't make it to the end if you did, have you deserve a medal.


Anywaaaays... the point of this blog was just to say thank you. Today i went on Facebook and i had some really lovely messages from different people, and even though i had a crappy start to the day, i just can't feel annoyed! So i just wanted to say a big big big thank you to everyone for your kind words, it really does mean so much :)

Wednesday, 16 March 2011

Busy, Busy, Busy: Part II

So because i had been to busy to blog, and because i had a lot to say, i couldn't finish my post. I type by using a track-ball and the on-screen keyboard, after a while my arm just hurts, so i can only type so much. I do have dragon (a voice activation programme) on a college laptop, that i use for essays, but it gets annoying.


So after my pretty busy weekend i really did begin to feel the effects.


I haven't felt right since leaving the hospital. After about a hour of being sat up i go red, cold & sweaty. Since Saturday its been really bad. I felt awful before mine & my mums bonding day, but i wasn't going to let it stop me, i had been looking forward to it all week. I lasted till 6ish until i HAD to go to bed.


Sunday i felt fine until we got to the pub. My cheeks went red hot and i went bright red. My mum said she had never seen me like that before. She was asking every 5 seconds if i was ok, and apart from being boiling hot, i did feel fine. I probably just had wind. Having a SCI just makes things like wind painful, for some, don't know why. I know this isn't very lady like, but everyone does it, and this is a honest blog. If you haven't all ready noticed :)


I felt horrid Monday, but we had a date with my cousin. She was cooking for the first time for us, she made lasagna and it actually was really good! She showed us her 4d scan pics, the lil one has a look of her dad, can't wait to meet her now.


A couple of my friends were going to come Tuesday, but i KNEW i just felt bad so i had to cancel. I still went into college early though, bad idea, by the time my lesson started i was sent home. I went straight to bed, but i was cold all day!


The nurse came today, she took my blood pressure, that was normal. So she's doing some tests, she thinks i may have a under lying infection somewhere.


Thankfully my cars broke so i can stay in bed all day tomorrow, catch up on some films...

Tuesday, 15 March 2011

Busy, Busy, Busy!!!

Hi folks, how are? It feels like ages since i last blogged, but i'v been very busy and ill for the passed few days.


Lets start with Thursday... College was ok, i was supposed to stay longer but my partner told me the wrong time, but i couldn't stay at the other time because i had physio. That annoyed me because i want to be involved in the editing. Once home it was straight to bed because the physio & the nurse was due. It wad c-day again. I was going to have them do it in hospital while i was under, to save me from the trauma, but the catheters at the hospital are different material, changing the material aint a good idea. But it turns out it wasn't all that traumatic, my mum & the nurse just kept me talking and i was ok. Just breathed through the pain.


The doctor came Friday, but apart from that i did nothing! and it was lovely! I stayed in bed all day with my feet up watching films. I watched the spy next door, it deff isn't a Oscar contender and the acting, apart from Jacki Chan of course, is terrible, but it's a good Friday afternoon family film.


I had a very lovely day Saturday, me & mum had a bonding day & did LOTS of baking. I spent the first hour dieing, but i'll get to that later. 


TOP TIP: If you use fat handles for your eating utensils, take them off and put them on cooking utensils, its much cheaper then buying adapted stuff.


We made...



Madeira cake buns with vanilla frosting 



Lime Cheesecake



Lemon drizzle cake

My arm was KILLING! me afterwards. Cooking/baking will always be the best physio, not only are you working your arms, but your core to. My balance is not good so alot of energy goes into trying to stay up right.

On Sunday twitter was very helpful. A local food & drink festival had tweeted. Was an early start, we thought it would be bigger, but they had some great stuff.



We were greeted by some really cute birds, I love owls & birds of prey, we used to go see them a lot when we were little. They had a bald eagle that was a bit dim and possibly gay, he was overly friendly with his male mate.


I had purposely skipped breakfast so was starving by the time we got to the festival. Just before we went in there was a burger bar selling beef, venison, ostrich, bison, kangaroo and kudu burgers. I got Bison, it was really nice, it tasted a bit grassy but in a nice way.






There were loads of different stuff inside, meats, cheese, cakes, pies, beers, ice cream, jams, juices and loads more. I got some blue goats cheese, marmalade & dandelion & burdock juice, cream soda juice & blood orange juice.




We weren't there for as long as we thought so we went shopping... my favourite pass time. We went to a place called Botany bay, its a bit like a car boot sale, there is a fair amount of rubbish, but there is some GORGEOUS stuff to.


We went for a early tea at this really nice pub. I say nice, it looks great, the decor is beautiful and so is the food, but its FULL of people that think there something there not. There was a group of girls sat across from us, and i SWEAR it was like watching the hills, i could not stop staring!


MTV you need a new show go to the eagle in whalley...


I have so much more to say but shoulder is killing from all this typing so i will have to finish tomorrow...


Night all x

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Feeling the cold

Im glad to say my mood has lifted.


It didn't take long i felt a lot better yesterday.


I went in to college early to film some shots for the film, and do abit of editing. That went well. I felt abit crappy at the end of the lesson because i had been out in the cold for 4 hrs. The last half hour was fairly uncomfortable 'cause i was struggling to sit up, and i could feel myself going blotchy.


I hate being cold, yet im like almost always cold. I can feel the cold still on my arms so i tend to keep them covered, it does help alot. I feel the cold alot to on my shoulders & chest so another staple of mine is scarfs. I bet i have 30 easy. Even with all my layers i last about 2 hours before i get cold again. If im in one place i can be orite, but if i move from place to place the changes in temperatures can really mess with me and my body doesn't know how to react. I tend to clamp up, i cant stretch my arms, and sitting up becomes very difficult. I also get really sweaty & blotchy that just makes you feel rubbish. I go everywhere prepared. I always take either blankets or cardigans or throws or jumpers. I also find eating or hot drinks help. I have always felt the cold but since my accident i feel it 10x more.


So i was very pleased to come home to a well heated room a blanket and a hot cup of tea.


My friend came over to, to tell me tales of her slightly disastrous travel experience, that really did cheer me up.


Pancakes for tea was defiantly the icing on the cake...

Monday, 7 March 2011

Tired

Yawn!! I am beyond tired & uncomfortable today.


Since leaving hospital my blood pressure has been dipping so i keep going funny, and today i have been so cold & just off.


I haven't had a mental weekend so i don't know why I'm so tired.


I went to see PAUL with my brother & his gf. It was a really good laugh out loud Friday night film. I went very prepared with my blanket, for some reason cinemas set there temperature at sub-zero, but Friday it was relatively warm. I did leave with a sore neck. Like the majority of cinemas the wheelchair spots are right at the front then the screens 8ft up. Not the most comfortable of viewings.


Saturday was my birthday party/secret auction. I had a really good night and we raised over £400 towards making my chair powered, annnd no hangover on Sunday. But i did spend the day in bed watching my backed up sky+ box.


I'm not looking forward to the rest of the week if I'm going to feel like this, but on the bright side i got lots of chocolate for my birthday so i can have mini sugar rushes...

Thursday, 3 March 2011

20 + 1

Today I'm 20yrs & 1 day old... yay me :)


Yesterday was really nice as it turns out...


Mummy dearest came home & i opened my presents, i got lots of pennies, a lovely scarf from my auntie, flowers from my neighbour Deb, Adele's album from my bro, a voucher from Steve, today i got a great mug off my brothers gf that has pictures of us on. Then my mum got me a tart tartan pan that i love!






ANNNND RIHANNA TICKETS!!


I have always loved Rihanna but i have been slightly obsessed with her new album... I rave about it to everyone! Apparently i said something to my mum about getting me tickets for my birthday but i didn't even remember, so for my mum to is unheard of. It normally takes less then a day for her to forget a conversation.


So i was beyond surprised & I'm very very very very very very very excited & grateful to me mother :)


We then went for afternoon tea, met my grandad BBQ (he always had BBQ's when we were little) for a drink, then we met my auntie Fran, then home for tea, i was knacked by the time i got to bed!


Today was nice & chilled! I found out i got a B for my coursework, and if i do well with my film i could be going into my exam with a high B. I'm very pleased with this, proves that all my hard work was worth it! So big Smiles!

Wednesday, 2 March 2011

No longer a Teenager

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!! :D


Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday to me....


I don't have much to report about my day so far as i haven't opened anything yet as I'm waiting for mummy Liz to come back from work, but i probably wont have much today as my party on Saturday and people are bringing stuff then. I'm not fussed though my birthdays tend to last about a week.


Not to sure as of yet what we are doing today, having a nice tea, mum's making my fav bread & butter pudding, yummy.


Friday I'm going to the pics with my brother & his gf then out for tea.


Sat is my party!


Sunday if I'm not to hungover I'm going to the pics again to see rango with my cousin.


I'm excited...


Today started lovely, my mum came and sang happy birthday, then my brother came & gave me a brew & my card & prezzie, Adele's new CD, which i can not wait to listen to.


Yesterday turned out to be very hectic. My lovely friend Ellie came, which we had arranged whilst i was in hospital. Then my Nana & grandad Spencer came, my grandad Sam (who's called bill but he had a dog called Sam so we call him grandad Sam) Then my neighbour came, then a aunt, then finally my uncle. I was very! pleased to see everyone, it was a lovely surprise! Amongst all my visitors i managed to sneak in an amazing!!! massage... So yesterday was good!


It didn't start well, me & mum had a argument, & till about 4 5 my blood pressure was low so i just felt rubbish! I was very cold but very very sweaty, it wasn't pleasant.


I'm going to get ready now & see what the rest of the day brings...